EDIT

It may not feel 100% right, and it may not even be your idea, but I find that the things I feel God is tugging at my heart to do, are the hardest things to do.

For example, editing my life. Not editing my closet, or my pantry, or even my junk drawer(s). Those are easy. I'm talking about editing my relationships, my actions, my words. Even in a time when I felt like I was dealing with enough on my plate, or that I didn't need to edit that aspect of my life, God showed up and told me to do it anyways. 

Here is what happened. I asked. He answered. Now, I didn't know that He would actually decide to answer that question in that way, but He did. Loud and clear.

I told myself that the year 2010 was going to be about me perfecting my relationships. Quality not quantity. I wanted to focus on the important people in my life and invest in my relationship with them. 2010 turned me upside down, flipped me over, and had me standing on my head before I could even think about letting my feet touch the ground. Needless to say, it was an eye-opening year that lead to me opening my heart. 

Looking back 2010 focused on my relationship with God, or lack thereof for that matter. I realized that the relationships I had with friends and family meant nothing if God wasn't first. I can only say that I found the strength to edit my relationships through knowing that my relationship with God needed the most mending. Through editing my life in the most extreme ways I ever have I can finally say God is becoming my number one priority. 

Small and BIG ways I've begun to edit my life:

• letting go of a relationship
• telling a good friend that if I wanted our friendship to continue I had to break her from my life in this moment
• expressing to one of my friends that it is hard for me to keep my faith in God alive when I surround myself with non-believers... by the way this friend is a "barely-there believer"
• bars
• clubs
• beginning to journal
• choosing happiness (because it was no longer a guarantee)
• taking courage (honestly and whole-heartedly)
• PRAYER!
• READING MY BIBLE
• Most importantly: Talking about my faith, because when you talk you learn, and quite possibly someone else is learning too!

ROOTED

I've been praying for months about this very night.

The night that I knew would be the first night of a journey through which I will change more so than I ever have.

Tonight I started my Rooted group at Mariners. It was completely what I had expected in the most unexpected way. I assumed I would be placed in an all girls group of 20 somethings. I was wrong. Although I am in a group of all women, they range from 22 (me) to a woman who is coming up on her 58th wedding anniversary. What I had expected was there - a group of people who showed up to grow. To learn. To discover. To soul search. To cling to community. What I didn't expect was the group of women I found myself sitting with. These women whom I connected with on so many levels after just one hour of getting to talk.

It was scary. It was nerve-racking. It was raw. Most importantly, it was real, and the women were real.

Just one hour. That's all it took.

I know these next 10 weeks are going to bring a change about in me because I can already feel it. Rooted has already begun to stir my soul.

I know I signed up for this 10 week journey expecting it to be a catalyst for life change. While I will get what I expect, I know I will get it in the most unexpected way. . . God's way.